


Body Positivity

by JosephThropp



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Body Image, Body Positivity, F/M, Gender Dysphoria, Post-Canon, Trans Connie Maheswaran, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24192652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JosephThropp/pseuds/JosephThropp
Summary: Steven Universe is fat. And his trans girlfriend, Connie Maheswaran, likes him like that.  Whether he's all dressed up or in naught but a tiny little swimsuit.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Comments: 16
Kudos: 76





	Body Positivity

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on Happily Ever After Never Ends chapter 2 but it's just been rough, dudes. But it's fine because I wrote this instead! I promise that chapter will be next, tho

This was such a stupid thing to be worrying about, Steven knew that. He’d been sitting in this bathroom for at least ten minutes now, and Connie was most definitely worrying about him by now. Even with the door closed, he felt sure that she had to be pacing the floor on the other side of it, if not staring at it and wondering what the hell he was doing in here. That was a fair question, considering Steven didn’t know what the hell he was doing in here either.

It had only taken a minute for him to get undressed and into his swimsuit. The pool was just downstairs, so he’d only intended to throw on a shirt and his sandals besides that. He’d gotten as far as picking up his shirt, only to end up stopping in his tracks when he’d caught a glance of himself in the mirror above the sink. Clad in nothing but that pink speedo, Steven found himself looking at his body, almost entirely uncovered. 

Staring at himself from the side, his eyes were instantly drawn to his stomach. The way that it fell over the front of the swimsuit, with love handles falling off to the sides and additional folds rolling off his back. A clearly defined muffin-top all the way around, looking just as distended as the actual muffin he’d picked up for breakfast this morning. Staring at that part of himself for too long had naturally led his eyes to the rest of his body. 

It was a self-destructive sort of decision when he was starting to think this way, but Steven turned to face the mirror head on anyway. Even without the profile view, he could see the faint pink and white lines that ran up and down his sides in seemingly random locations. Stubborn stretch marks that never left him, no matter how good and consistent he was with the cocoa butter treatments. Even worse was his chest, with flabby pecs that he wished  _ so  _ much would just recede  _ just  _ a little. They were so close to barely even making an impression in tight shirts, but not quite there yet. 

Even if he’d been wearing the shirt already, the telltale signs of his size would still be there, of course. His neck was wide, with extra skin that would perpetually bother him, regardless of the fact that hardly anyone else would ever even notice it. His chubby cheeks were as much a Steven trademark as his dark curls by now. A trademark that he really resented in moments like this. 

Ugh, need he go on? The loose skin under his arms and his excessively plush thighs were just icing on the cake as far as his little pity party of diminishing self-worth was concerned. It all added up to an image in the mirror he just didn’t want to look at anymore. Days like this didn’t happen very often, but it was just his luck one would happen the very day he and Connie were about to go swimming. One of the very few activities where he couldn’t just put on a shirt and pretend he was fine. 

Maybe it would’ve been easier if he wasn’t in such a tiny little swimsuit. It was a dumb impulse buy anyway. The kind of thing that had made Steven go starry-eyed all of a sudden when he’d walked past it in the store, just knowing he had to have it. Never mind the fact that a situation like the one he currently found himself in was exactly what he should’ve considered before making the purchase. 

There were probably other trunks of his in the Dondai. Anything else he could throw on. At this point, it wasn’t even about swimming for Steven. He just wanted to stay out of the water and in his clothes while sitting by the pool, pretty much only there for Connie’s sake so she could enjoy the pool date he’d promised her. 

“Steven?” 

Speak of the devil. 

Connie’s voice came from the other side of the bathroom door, followed by a few gentle raps against it. Yep, he’d definitely been sulking around in here for too long. It was honestly a surprise that Connie hadn’t come to check on him until now. “Steven, are you okay?” She called again, knocking a little more insistently. 

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine,” He finally answered her, kicking himself for making her worry in the first place. This was his stupid problem, Connie didn’t deserve to be forced to help him try and fix it. She was such a good person though, of course she was going to end up doing that one way or another. “I’m sorry. I just got a little distracted.” 

That excuse didn’t seem to fly with Connie. “Can I come in?” She asked. 

Steven adjusted himself on the edge of the tub where he’d been sitting, reaching down to pick up his shirt off the floor. Didn’t want her tripping on her way in. “Okay.” He finally replied after a moment. 

The door creaked open, but Steven didn’t look up right away. His eyes remained focused on the shirt in his lap, running his fingers over the fabric absentmindedly. Connie slid beside him without a word, taking a seat on the tub’s edge as well. Even without her speaking, Steven could just tell she was amping up to poke and prod at him. 

“You’ve got your suit on. You gonna put on your shirt and your sandals?” Yep, there it was. The question was asked with such a light tone, clearly intending to sidestep around the fact that Steven was obviously avoiding doing those exact things. 

He shrugged in response, looking to the side and noticing Connie’s bare leg brushing up against his. Her purple sandals were already on her feet, and a lacy white cover up was already thrown on over her one piece swimsuit. She was entirely ready to go, and here Steven was, keeping her cooped up inside the hotel room. Ugh, now he felt even worse. 

Well, there was only so much of the silent treatment that Connie was going to put up with. When Steven didn’t give her a real answer, she didn’t hesitate to make her concern that much clearer. She reached for the shirt in his hands, gently tugging it out of his grasp. Without that distraction, he had to actually confront what she was saying. 

“Steven, what’s up? You were so excited right before you came in here!” Connie scooted in a little closer, throwing his shirt aside before grabbing one of Steven’s hands while she looked to him with sad eyes. “Is something wrong? We don’t have to go swimming if you don’t want to.” 

Oh, no. That was exactly what Steven didn’t want. Ruining something they’d planned, all because of his dumb insecurities. “No, I want to go swimming! Just let me finish getting ready.” 

He stood from the tub, already looking around to see where he kicked his sandals to. Unfortunately, his attempt to play everything off still wasn’t sticking. Connie stood from the tub and trailed right after him, grabbing his shoulder before her could try and brush her off. 

“Steven, forget swimming for a second! Talk to me about what’s bothering you before you worry about anything else!” Connie’s voice was desperate enough that Steven couldn’t hope to keep putting up walls. He had to concede in some way, however small. 

With a sigh, he finally turned towards her, crossing his arms over his chest as he spoke. “Do you think this swimsuit looks okay?” 

The confusion that crossed Connie’s features was as good an answer as any. Obviously she thought he looked good, she had to. He was her boyfriend. “What? Of course it looks good! You’ve been wanting to wear it since you bought it a few weeks ago!” 

Oof, yeah. Steven had already called Connie about his stellar find the day he’d picked it up. Trying to act like he’d just randomly had this whole about-face without any prompt or reason definitely wasn’t going to fly. He scrambled for anything that might qualify as a validation for why he was feeling this way now, but there weren’t many good reasons he could think of. 

“I-I dunno, you don’t think it’s a little off on me? Like, the color?” He offered with a shrug. 

“Steven, you  _ love  _ pink!” Connie didn’t back down. She took a step closer, reaching up to cup one of Steven’s cheeks in one of her hands. “Please, don’t make me fight you to get you to open up, Steven. I love you, you can talk to me.” 

Welp, that was that. Once Connie decided to break out any form of vocal affirmations of love, Steven was toast. He didn’t have any choice left but to do as she asked and open up. He sighed again, slowly bringing a hand up to the center of his belly. Connie’s eyes followed, brow furrowing a bit as she watched him. 

“Is it...your gem?” She asked. 

_ Okay, let’s try that again.  _ Steven’s hand dipped lower, grabbing the overhanging portion of his belly that spilled over the waistband of his speedo. That seemed to do the trick, judging how Connie’s eyes widened with clear realization. 

“Oh.  _ Oh!”  _ She brightened once things really clicked with her, but her face fell soon after once the implications of that set in. “Oh, Steven.” 

Just as he could’ve expected, Connie plastered herself against him in a hug that seemed intended to impart as much affection and affirmation onto him as possible. There wasn’t a word spoken for a few moments as she merely clung to him, while Steven awkwardly wrapped his arms around her in turn. 

When Connie finally pulled back, her eyes were dry, but her voice was absolutely dripping with that sad sort of empathy that Steven hated to make her feel. “Steven, you know how I see you, don’t you?” 

That wasn’t even a question, as far as Steven was concerned. “Of course. You never stop telling me that I’m the handsomest guy around, and that you’re so lucky.” It was a similar sentiment that he felt in regards to her, easily the most beautiful girl he’d had the pleasure of meeting. That had always been true in his eyes. 

“Right. I don’t just want to tell you that, though. I want to show it to you. Make it feel more true, less hollow.” She lightened up on the embrace just a bit, turning her head to rest it against Steven’s chest. One of her hands crept up Steven’s torso, tracing indiscernible little shapes in the soft flesh along the way. 

“I know.” Boy, did Steven know. How many times had Connie stopped him for a picture over the years, forcing him to memorialize wonderful looks he’d crafted that he might not have otherwise been given their proper due? She was just so intuitive like that, knowing just when Steven needed that little bit of hyping up. 

Unfortunately, hiding out in the bathroom like this, Steven wasn’t in much of a position for such prime selfie-taking. Talking it out was about as good as he could hope for. “I love how much you do for me. My weird brain just doesn’t wanna accept that, though. Sometimes it just sees all your niceness as pity.” He admitted with some reluctance. 

Strangely enough, Connie chuckled at that. “That’s not so weird. My brain does that too, sometimes. Thinking that I don’t deserve you saying such good things about me.” 

“What part of you could I ever not see the good in?” 

“Well, I really hate my penis sometimes.” 

_ Oh.  _ Steven bristled a bit as he continued to hold Connie, suddenly feeling a little stupid for being so down on himself. Especially once she continued. “It’s just little stuff like that. Wishing my hips were a little bigger, or my chest. Being self-conscious about body hair and if I’m smooth enough.” 

She laid a hand on her hip to emphasize her point, not quite satisfied with the odd crossroads of bony and muscular she was at. It wasn’t a big deal, though. Not today, anyway. “It’s like, I know you’re the best boyfriend ever and don’t care about that stuff. But sometimes it’s like a part of me forgets that, and I spiral.” 

That. That was it in a nutshell. Connie had surmised the entirety of the struggle Steven was going through, and hardly seemed to have struggled to get there. Of course she hadn’t, she knew exactly what he was talking about. She had a different path to that feeling of body dysmorphia, but ended up at the same place as him. That was a little part of their attraction, wasn’t it? Seeing each other in a way that was entirely unaffected by these occasionally perceived flaws. 

“Oh, stars,” Steven muttered as he put a little more force into their embrace, wrapping Connie back up in his arms all over again. “I’m sorry. I’m in such an easy spot compared to you. I shouldn’t be making this all about me.” 

“Hey now, none of that!” Connie wiggled out of Steven’s embrace just enough to take a step back, maintaining contact by gripping his hands. “I’m having a great self-image day today, and your feelings are no less important than mine, so we’re gonna address them right now!” 

Those words were spoken with such conviction that Steven already knew there was no chance of steering her off this path. One way or another, he was going to be led to a place of better mental standing, whether he liked it or not. He gave a laugh and ran a hand through his hair, eventually giving a nod. 

“Alright, let’s do it. Whatcha’ got?” He asked. 

Just like that, Connie’s expression lit up all over again. She bent at the knees briefly before jumping up at Steven, who caught her in his arms with a well-practiced expertise. “Okay, five reasons why my big, beautiful, biscuit boyfriend is the best one in the entire world!” 

Oh boy. This was gonna be as much of a tooth-rottingly sweet approach as any other, Steven could already tell. It began with Connie raising her hands a bit and lightly slapping the two arms holding her up. “Reason one! These hugs are the  _ best! _ Seriously, I can imagine people dying for the chance to be wrapped up in these bad boys.” 

She proceeded to wiggle in Steven’s grasp, just enough to free herself and fall back onto her feet. Taking a knee, Connie then reached up to lay a hand on the front of each of his thighs. “Reason two! Those memes about how thick thighs save lives are speaking the truth! Especially in the winter!” 

One of Connie’s hands moved away from Steven’s thigh and towards the center of his legs, pushing her fingers into the space where his thighs were pressed together. A common move on her part that was still very effective on him. 

“Connie, no! You know I’m ticklish!” Steven laughed uncomfortably, but he didn’t make any move to stop her as she wiggled two fingers between his soft flesh. 

“I’m making a point here!” Much as she would love to continue drawing these little giggles out of Steven, Connie was good enough to withdraw her hand and stand again after another moment. “You’re a great space heater if my hands or feet are cold and I don’t wanna grab mittens or socks or anything!” 

“You’re just lucky my legs are a little less ticklish than my armpits. Otherwise you’d never get a chance to take advantage of that!” Steven pouted a bit as he crossed his arms. So much of his body was just way too susceptible to tickling, some parts even more than others. 

“Trust me, I know.” Considering how many times the lightest touch of her fingers under Steven’s arms had sent him into such a state of thrashing and struggling, Connie didn’t doubt what he said. Too much experience had already informed her perception. 

Moving right along, she reached down for one of Steven’s hands, clutching it in her own. She began to extend his fingers, grabbing them one by one until his hand looked like he’d just counted to five with it. Once that was done, she lifted his hand up and pressed her matching palm right against his, creating a direct comparison between their hands. 

“Reason three. Your big hands are even bigger than mine. That’s like, an instant euphoria wave every time I realize that!” It was notably more difficult for Connie to feel like bits and pieces of her were out of proportion when each one of them was dwarfed by this big bear of a man she’d ended up with. Their hands were just the tip of that iceberg. 

Steven hummed a little in response, nodding as he placed the thumb and forefinger of his free hand against his chin. “Alright, I’m starting to appreciate the energy. I assume things only keep getting better than here?” 

“Oh, you bet, mister.” Connie’s eyes narrowed a bit as she removed her hand from Steven’s to reach up and boop his nose, though her grin stayed stuck to her face. “Reason four is a real kicker.” 

Ste stepped away from Steven and over towards the tub, placing one foot up onto the rim. With one hand, she gestured to her foot. Specifically, her immaculately painted toenails. A shimmery purple color, the perfect match for her purple sandals. 

“Steven?” 

“Yeah?” 

“What can you tell me about this nail polish?” 

“Oh, well that’s easy. We did them this morning, right after breakfast. You were thinking about a matte sky blue color, but I was really excited to see how the purple and the shine would work with your skin tone!” Steven brightened as he walked over, kneeling at the side of the tub to inspect his handiwork. “I’m glad it dried evenly. You’re bad at sitting still sometimes.” 

“I’ll let that last comment slide in the interest of continuing to elevate your self-esteem,” Connie scoffed a bit, though without any real annoyance behind it. She gingerly removed her foot from the tub, reaching down to cup Steven’s chin in one of her hands. “Can you tell me why you did that for me?” 

“Um, because you asked me to help?” 

“Exactly!” Connie’s grin grew even wider as her other hand came up to Steven’s face, gripping both of his cheeks in her hands. “Reason four is that I get to boss around a guy twice my size, and he thanks me for it! That’s such a power trip!” 

Steven stared blankly in response, but he started to laugh soon enough. He stood from the floor, shaking his head a bit. “Connie, you don’t boss me around! I just like to do stuff for you sometimes.” 

“Sometimes?” Connie raised an eyebrow. 

“Well, most of the time.” 

Even though she could have made a strong argument for Steven enjoying the act of doing things for her almost  _ all _ the time, Connie was a little more interested in moving on to the very last reason. “Wait here one sec!” She said as she turned to dash back into the hotel room, grabbing her phone off the bed. Her fingers were already tapping away at the screen by the time she walked back into the bathroom with Steven. 

It took a minute for her to find what she was looking for, but Connie eventually turned the phone around to show the screen to Steven. “Do you remember this picture?” 

“Oh yeah, of course! Daniel took this one, right?” Steven recognized it as their first visit to the Starlight Roller Rink. The night he’d first met Daniel and Patricia. It had been a bit of a rough experience, but this picture had been taken later in the night. By the time the photo was taken, Steven had actually gotten into the swing of things. 

He and Connie were skating comfortably in the picture. Daniel had taken it while skating a few feet behind them. They were holding hands, heads facing each other while they laughed about some joke Steven couldn’t quite remember all this time later. All he remembered about the moment now was the feeling of finally enjoying himself and getting into the skating with Connie at his side. 

“Yep, Daniel did indeed take it. He sent me something else with it, though.” Connie’s face suddenly seemed to flush a little bit, even as she continued grinning. “Promise me you won’t ever tell him that I showed you this?” 

Hmm, must’ve been something important. Steven raised one hand while using the other to draw an invisible little x over the face of his gem. “Cross my gem and hope to crack.” 

“Ha ha,” Connie gave an entirely humorless little laugh in response, not at all tickled by that little jest. As long as it was some kind of a promise, though, it was good enough. “Read this!” She tapped at the screen again for another moment before thrusting it into Steven’s hand, left on a text message conversation with timestamps from two years ago. The same date that photo had been taken. 

The top of the screen showed the photo as it had originally been sent to Connie. Beneath it was another one, a crop of the original photo. It had been cut down to focus on Steven, and one very particular part of Steven’s body. 

His butt. 

_ Oh stars. _ Steven knew he must’ve been blushing pretty damn badly, because he hadn’t even said anything yet when he heard Connie break out into some full-body laughter. It wasn’t that he was  _ uncomfortable  _ with this development per se, more so confused. His eyes were naturally drawn to the following texts for the sake of getting some context. 

_ [ Daniel ] 10:28  _ **_damn connie. how is your boyfriend just gonna flex on us all like that_ **

_ [ Connie ] 10:29  _ **_Daniel what the heck_ **

_ [ Daniel ] 10:33  _ **_im sorry but am i wrong_ **

_ [ Connie ] 10:35  _ **_I mean, you’re definitely not wrong_ **

Okay, that was more than enough for Steven to get the picture. He gave the phone back to Connie, looking away and still feeling absolutely red in the face among all his embarrassment. Hearing compliments from his girlfriend was one thing, but to be viewed as attractive in the eyes of other people was something he didn’t often consider. That certainly made it at least a little harder to feel down on himself in this moment. 

“Sorry, too much?” Connie reached up to wipe a tear from her eye once she accepted her phone, finally coming down from that intense bout of laughter. 

“No, no. It’s just a little weird. I think it feels good, though.” Okay, it definitely felt good. What Connie had set out to do, she’d definitely achieved by now. 

“Good, that’s reason five.” Connie stepped in close to wrap both her arms around one of Steven’s, laying her head against his shoulder. “You can say it’s that you’re super hot, or that you’ve got the best butt. Both are true, and both are great reasons that you’re the best in general.” 

Welp. Just as predicted, Connie’s last few reasons had definitely been some that packed a punch. If Steven had just started to feel a little better along the way of this little self-esteem trip, then he was far past the point of feeling great by now. In a familiar turn of events, his favorite person had all but waved a wand and transformed his little depressive episode into a celebration of so many little things about him. 

“I don’t even need a reason six, but I think I’ve got one.” He reached up to wipe his arm over his eyes and sweep away a few errant tears before pressing his face against the top of Connie’s head. His senses were quickly overwhelmed with the smell of her minty shampoo, given how his nose was buried in her thick locks. 

“Yeah? What’s that?” Connie shifted her head a bit to look up, bumping her nose into Steven’s as she did so. 

“You,” He answered without even a moment of hesitation, leaning in closer and pressing their foreheads together. “If I’ve got someone as wonderful as you, literally on my arm, I must be doing something right.” 

With that, Steven leaned down to press his lips to Connie’s, eager to take a moment and just show a little bit of genuine appreciation for her. In all honesty, he often wished he could do more for her as proper compensation for all she did. This always seemed to do a lot for her though, so maybe it was a good enough solution in the meantime. 

Sure enough, Connie’s eyes shone bright by the time that Steven pulled away. She squeezed onto his arm just a little tighter, giggling and burying her face into his shoulder. Heh, usually it took a little more to get her quite that flustered. 

After a moment, she drew her head back, looking back up to him with a smile. “So, how do you feel now? We can just hang out here, or get dressed to go out somewhere else if you’d prefer.” 

“Hmm...nah!” Steven was quick to pull away, walking across the room to pick up his shirt from where Connie had tossed it. He gave his belly a hearty little slap before pulling the shirt over his head and onto his body. “I think I’m in the mood for a swim. Been working on the beach bod! I better show it off, y’know?” 

All Connie could do was laugh. Didn’t take too much to get him back to the best Steven he could be. “I guess so! Just don’t forget who gets exclusive access to that body outside of viewing hours!” She chuckled through her own joke as she walked back through the door, happy to know the pool bag she’d put together wouldn’t go to waste after all. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it!” Steven called after her as he looked around again for his sandals, finally spotting them off to the right side of the toilet. He approached them, passing by the mirror again as he did so. Sparing a look at his reflection, he saw someone looking back at him that he was more than happy with, especially compared to before. A big and tall butterball of a person, with an easy smile that you just couldn’t help but feel good about. 

Yeah, that was a pretty good kind of person to be. Someone that Steven was  _ glad _ to be. He paused just long enough to wink and blow a kiss to his reflection before turning back to his sandals, eager to get down to the pool. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading!! If you wanna chat about anything with me, I'd love to! Hit me up @josephthropp on tumblr, or twitter if they've fixed my account by the time you're reading this!


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